Howard Stern did a major press conference in NYC Thursday to discuss his new position as judge on NBC’s mega hit family show ‘America’s Got Talent.’
“I have been disrespecting family values for years” said sarcastically the very excited and wealthy Sirius Satellite Radio man who has 3 years left on his contract. “No of course at first it sounded crazy and never made sense but now it does.”
Thankfully and funnily, and not surprising, he couldn’t pass up opportunities to disparage competitors.
“JLo I don’t understand what she’s doing there. You’ve got to be up front with them. Not everyone can be amazing. And Ryan Seacrest is kind of tired. He can’t even relate to the people. He wants to be the next Dick Clark. Dick is dead.”
Asked about Britney Spears being tapped to judge alongside L.A. Reid and ‘Simon Cowell ‘X Factor‘.
“A Wonderful decision. Britney still thinks the world is flat. We’ll all tune in to see if she can still function. She’ll probably sit there like JLo and say you’re wonderful, terrific and be thinking how can I get endorsements and perform on the show. I too will tune in to see what kind of train wreck she is.”
Mariah Carey’s hubby Nick Cannon the host of the show got better reviews. “Nick is great. ‘He’s a real guy who relates to people. “
Earlier in the day Howard did ‘Today’ Show and ‘The View‘. “I spent the morning kissing Matt Lauer’s head, and Sherri Shepherd and Barbara Walters.”
Howard had some digs for Lauer’s co-host Al Roker.
“Al used to be jolly and fun and now he’s a prune. They stuck a pin in him.”
More on good friend Matt.
“Matt and his beautiful wife Annette come over regularly to our home. We have a lot in common. We are both sex symbols. (Laughs from audience) We discuss the Today show and what to do with various anchor people. We actually talk about them behind their backs.”
OK compassionate father of three daughters who he helped raise. Why do this new gig?
“Look, obviously not for the money and not for the fame. I feel famous enough. I am comfortable in my life. I did it because I love the show. I already sit at home and give commentary to the wall. What fun I thought.”
Look I’m not here to do the Howard Stern show. I’m not here to disrupt the show but there’s still room for some edge on the show”.
And what about new co-workers Howie Mandel and Sharon Osbourne?’
“Howie asked me what the perimeters are because he likes to do practical jokes on people like he used to with Piers Morgan. “I told him I have no sense of humor and will punch you in the nose if you do a practical joke on me and I will break it. I’m not strong and you all know the size of my penis but I’m pretty sure I could break a nose.”
Howie and Sharon are learning so much from me. They were good judges but now they are great. I told them they’ve got to be honest, direct and help the talent. I have the utmost respect for Howie, and Sharon is the most passionate manager I have ever known. We have the best judging panel on television. I can’t wait for America to see it and I’m so glad to be with NBC.”
Considering years ago he was basically banned from ever appearing on NBC I would say he must be excited and thinking never say never. “I’m so excited that NBC executives are now saying nice things about me.”
Hey Howard, watch how nice they’ll be if the ratings go through the roof.
Season Premiere: May 14 & 15 (8-10 p.m. ET)
Can’t wait!!!